I got a part-time job because the burden was too much on her. And I did my own dumb papers. But more than that, I had to learn how to love this beautiful blonde. I had no idea. And so I had to learn how to talk with her, how to make time with her, how to - how to really meet her needs and have conversations that would be deep for her. Our first year was rough, rough, rough, rough. Jim: Yes. Okay, for the men that are listening, let me ask this question: what does a deep, good conversation sound like? You kidding? But that - she knows exactly what she wants. And you let her know.
David: It is. What is a deep conversation with me? What would that look like, honey? She knows the answer. And your particular woman will be able to tell you and choreograph it. Women have a Ph. David: She has. She will be beyond thrilled. She absolutely will. Jim: Well, again, you mention it. David, you mentioned writing a letter of responsibility to your spouse. That sounds, again, a little intimidating as I read it. What does it mean? This is second session. You know that.
Well, how about you, Bozo? Bap, bap, bap, bap. So stop the rocks and the bottles. But you know what? Clarke starts. It starts with looking in the mirror, the log in your eye. Take a look. Be very honest about mistakes, regrets, things you have to work on. Couples that come in - and a lot of them try this because of resistance. This is a progressive series of steps. I have no other agenda here.
That nips it in the bud. That can be so hard and, you know, especially if you have a critical nature, which I think all human beings do. And how would we think about being less critical or not critical and more positive about our spouse?
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How do we do that? The positivity is all gone.
So we bring that back, and it has to be forced. You just have to do it.
Faith in God, faith in this process and hopefully love for your spouse is going to be developing. I want you to come with a list of 14 very impressive and real compliments for your spouse - physical attractiveness, character, what they do for you, spiritual qualities - has to be a real list.
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By your dysfunction. So we start with that. This is important. The point that they need help. What does healthy conflict look like? And David, you know this. David: Yeah. Those people have big problems. Oh my goodness. David: Yeah and very Christ-like. Christ had a conflict with a lot of people.
And they killed him. That was - that was pretty conflictual. And he always told the truth which got him in all kinds of trouble, even though it was done with love. And so you pull way apart. You actually want to have conflicts. Closeness results. The making up is sweet. The whole thing works.
David, man, we have flown through this. Can you stick with us? Jim: Okay, good. And let me speak to you, the listener. We have caring Christian counselors who can start that process. We want to see your marriage thrive in Christ. John: Yeah, make that phone call today and talk to a counselor, get information about Hope Restored, and ask about resources. Jim: You know, having a great guest, John, like Dr. David Clarke on, it sparks the emotion. It opens the heart up. People are gonna respond today. We want to continue this discussion. And we want to help strengthen your marriage, like I said.
You know, every month, our counseling team fields over 4, calls every month. You know, you are directly partnering with us in that way. And one of the ways that you can help us meet these needs is to give a gift of any amount, and we will, in turn, say thank you by sending you a copy of Dr. Use it for a neighbor, a friend, a relative. Make your donation online at focusonthefamily. Thanks for being with us today. We are going to hit it tomorrow. John: All right.
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Well on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team here at Focus on the Family, thanks so much for listening in today. Do plan to be back next time as we continue to talk to Dr. Clarke and once more help you and your family thrive in Christ. Receive Dr. Our listeners have spoken! Jim Daly and John Fuller are your hosts in a digital collection of the year's most popular programs from the Focus on the Family daily radio broadcast. For couples in crisis — you can still put the pieces of your marriage back together with Hope Restored.
Part 1 of 2 Listen here, watch recent episodes on our YouTube channel , or download our app. Body: Jim: David, welcome back to Focus. David: Well, my pleasure to be here. Jim: I can see that. David: Oh, come on. Jim: How? Jim: What about ? It could take 8 - Who knows? Jim: The blonde and I. David: Oh, she is. She loves being called the blonde. Jim: So this is pretty normal. Jim: You thought she knew that about you. David: Man, so David: Exactly. Jim: You think about that.
David: I know. David: Three percent. Jim: Three percent - think of that. Jim: Wow. Think of that.
Love Narratively? So do we.
Jim: Yeah - huge. David: They think they already know. Jim: Wait a minute. John: You said you were a slob - yeah. Jim: Is she a firstborn by chance? Jim: Oh my goodness.
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David: I was incredibly selfish. Jim: Okay. Snares, daggers are flowing right at you right now. What kind of a husband was that? Jim: Is that a good question to start with? Jim: That just sounds bad. David: It does. David: And it works. Jim: It sounds right, though. It sounds like a good thing.
Closing: Jim: Okay, good. Give Now Available to U. Guest Dr. David Clarke View Bio. The current commission, with members from throughout the world field, continues the endeavor of studying the issues of marriage, divorce, and remarriage and offering guidance to the Church. Over the course of three meetings-Hoddesdon, England, September 14 to 16, ; Montemorelos, Mexico, January 25 to 29, ; Cohutta Springs, Georgia, May 30 to June 3, the General Conference Divorce and Remarriage Study Commission has given attention to biblical, theological, and historical studies, and to the writings of Ellen G White, current situational reports from world regions, and research reports.
The Commission presented an interim report to the General Conference and division officers on September 25, The entrance of sin adversely affected marriage. When Adam and Eve sinned, they lost the oneness which they had known with God and with one another Gen Their relationship became marked with guilt, shame, blame, and pain. As a part of the curse of sin, rulership was given to the husband Gen ; see also PP 58, Wherever sin reigns, its sad effects on marriage include alienation, desertion, unfaithfulness, neglect, abuse, violence, separation, divorce, domination of one partner by the other, and sexual perversion.
Non-monogamous marriages are also an expression of the effects of sin on the institution of marriage. Such marriages, although practiced in Old Testament times, were not in harmony with the divine design. Restoration and Healing.
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